“Everyone’s mental health is important but what stands men’s mental health apart is that us guys don’t tend to have those around us that we can open up to fully about what’s going on in our lives at a deeper level. Lots of men also have the feeling that not having good mental health is a sign of weakness. We can all have difficulties, whether they be physical or mental but if we talk about them with someone we trust, then we can start to work towards a better level of health. As an analogy, many people run, they’re not going to get to Sir Mo Farah’s level, but it’s good for your heart and improves physical health. Just as using talking therapies or having counselling isn’t going to remove all problems overnight but gives us the techniques to cope better with stresses that happen to us, which can cause fear or anxiety. Sadly, I know too many men who, despite offers, do not want to open up and as a result struggle for many years with other matters often connected to an initial issue that they have never sought assistance with.”

“To make sure I’m keeping to an even keel as possible, I do use my Christian faith and promises from God found in the Bible and church songs to focus my mind, remember I have a future and that things WILL get better. I also make sure I have opportunities to have time out from work, dad – life etc. My wife and I make sure we have three of four days a month where were can each do something we want to. I have a few favourite things I do to fill my cup. Heading out with my camera is one. I love nature and love the challenge of capturing the perfect picture. I have also added my camera to my enjoyment of sport by photographing the cars at F1 racing or the players at local football matches. I have a passion for Lego and find the actions of creating a model out of a pile of pieces very psychologically relieving and I see it as almost a metaphor for our own lives. I have my Scalextric set up in my loft and can spend a good hour or two buzzing around with some of my favourite cars. As well as these self-led actions, I have also made use of counselling in the past when I was really struggling after some very difficult months which led me to very dark thoughts. Thankfully being able to open up and tell close family about how I was feeling allowed me to get the help I needed at the time, including the counselling that got to the root of the issue and helped me to make plans of how to cope better when my stress and fear levels rose again in future.”

“Getting some down time from the hustle and bustle of life helps me to reset things in general but when doing things like my nature photography it causes me to be calm, quiet and take in everything around me. Even just the controlling of my breathing can help to settle everything and put some of life’s worries into perspective. I’m happy to admit I’m a nerd and I get satisfaction in completing a task whether it be completing a Lego build or getting a faster time in a 10-lap time trial on my Scalextric track. They give me a generally happier disposition about myself and my self-worth. I’m a Spurs fan and thankfully their results aren’t something that I rely on to be happy!”

“If there is anyone struggling with their mental health, then my biggest advice is not to ignore it. Just like a broken leg… it won’t go away. How you treat it, is up to you, and there are many different ways to get to a better you. Start by talking to a good friend or family member you know you can trust and will listen without judging you. At HUC we have the bonus of the Care First employee assistance scheme, which helps get faster access to healthcare practitioners. I know that colleagues have benefited from using the Care First service. Also, the longer you leave something the tougher it tends to get to deal with, so don’t let things fester under the surface, seek help earlier, even though later is always better than not asking!”

Thank you Joel, for sharing your personal experiences and methods for keeping on top of your mental health!